Table of contents:
- Focus on your wishes
- Don't be selfish (towards yourself)
- Explain your motives
- Pay attention to the ways
Saying no is not easy: we are afraid of hurting those in front of us or the consequences, but sometimes it is essential to do so - here's how to learn how to do it and live better
How many times has it happened to you wanting to say no and instead of agreeing without really believing it?
Try to think because you did it and you will understand that you may have implemented a strategy to protect yourself.
Yes, why say no, for you, it would have meant triggering a series of unpleasant reactions which in turn would affect your day and (most importantly) your mood.
This protective function could be used in the most banal situations or with particularly aggressive people but beware … do not make it a habit.
When one is too compliant, in fact, one arrives to put oneself aside in order to please others and this process, over time, would prove to be ineffective for one's own happiness.
We show you four strategies for learning to say no.
Focus on your wishes
When people dispense advice, they do thinking about their experiences and needs.
For this reason, if someone tries to impose something on you, think if that advice belongs to your nature and it is in your wishes.
If the answer is no, then you might recognize to the person in front of you that his will surely be a great suggestion for someone but that it is not adequate for you, simply because it doesn't reflect your personality.
The person in front of you can do nothing but recognize your needs and leave your own aside.
Don't be selfish (towards yourself)
Often those who are afraid to say no are convinced of appear selfish in the eyes of the other, is afraid of disappointing and therefore of feeling guilty.
Actually always saying yes one is not selfish towards others but towards oneself.
Saying yes to the friend who needs it, to the partner who has to do the housework and to the colleague who can't finish a job, will lead you to put aside what you need most: your psycho-physical well-being.
Saying no one more time will lead you to have more time to devote to what you love.
Explain your motives
Saying no is easier than you think. To be sure that the other person understands the reason for your no, it will be enough to explain the reasons.
For example, your friend invites you to dinner and you don't know how to refuse? It will be enough to explain to her that you will be late for work and tiredness will not allow you to be company, you can also propose to postpone dinner for another time.
Often, in fact, it is very useful to add a valid alternative.
Pay attention to the ways
Say no, in the right ways, will not disappoint anyone and it will not unleash any sense of guilt towards yourself.
Overly condescending people are convinced that always saying yes will lead them to be accepted by others and do not think that this mechanism generates a deep dissatisfaction with oneself.
The solution to all of this is assertiveness. Being assertive means to communicate, in a clear and effective way, your point of view, always keeping in mind our values, the principles that guide our life, goals and desires.
If you will have this what you want and what not, you will also be able to communicate effectively and a find a balance between yes and no.