On TV she is an actress in crisis, at the cinema a wife who bitterly confesses herself with the person she loves. Margherita Buy is used to interpreting women at a turning point
Here I am, alone, with the dog Matteo. His mistress, Margherita Buy, is in the kitchen making coffee. A gesture of courtesy, but also of shyness, I think. Since she flew away immediately after opening the door to her Roman home for me. Appearance. Matteo looks at me perplexed. I look around and think that this is the perfect home for a woman who is an actress, but in real life she doesn't act (at least: not apparently). One who, at 55, does not hide neither strength nor fragility. One who, while doing something, looks at you with the air of asking: "Okay?". Always with that doubt, for his every gesture: from offering you a glass of water to answering a complex question. Okay okay. As far as I'm concerned, everything is as it should be. The living room with two windows and two sofas: simple and welcoming. Coffee: served in dark glasses, next to an old silver sugar bowl. The slightly unmade flowers on the table, the books randomly placed on the shelf. Margherita smiles, sits down. Matteo falls on her and she caresses him with both hands. We can begin. So the question in his eyes takes the form of the words: "Oh my God, what should I say?".
Don't worry, between questions and answers, a story will come out at the end."Yes, but where do we start from?"
On its public side, work. Which then, to tell the truth, ends up being also very private, given the roles she chooses. Not surprisingly, I mention his latest releases. The TV series In Treatment (from 25 March on Sky Atlantic) and the film Small conjugal crimes, directed by Alex Infascelli, will be in cinemas from 6 April."By a strange coincidence in both roles I have as partner Sergio Castellitto, the ideal person, one with whom you work very well".
In the TV series, he is the analyst, she is analyzed. Can I say that Margherita is looking for her a little bit?"What?"
The label. Her reputation as a vibrant, slightly neurotic actress, always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. «And oh well. In Treatment has a beautiful text: seven episodes that become an analytical journey. I'm sure it's not a role written for me, because it's the translation of an American series. But it is as if it had been sewn on me: an actress in her 50s, who has a ex-husband, a teenage daughter. But she is not well, she has memory lapses, she cannot remember the script: she goes to analysis to understand why. Of course he discovers that the problem is quite another. She is someone who has gone on like a fast train in her life and now she realizes she has to stop. She can no longer avoid having to deal with her sister who is dying of cancer, the mother who has already left for the same disease, the need to undergo a genetic test too to understand how much she really is at risk. For the first time he must force himself to face the fear of death and the even more insidious fear of life ».
The fears that everyone has, in short. “These are questions that pounce on you when something breaks in your life. When you feel a radical urge to change. We all, sooner or later, come to a time when it makes sense to take stock. Do you know the age at which you need to understand who you really are? And you want to have confirmations, certainties, to move forward. At least that's what happens to me. "I propose you a limited budget: your two latest works. Are you happy with what you have done?"Maybe I won't even see them."
Why not? “I don't like to see myself again. I'm afraid I don't like it. A useless fear, among other things, because now what is done is done. I usually expect some people I trust to see my work. If they tell me I went well, then, maybe, maybe, I'll try to look at myself too ".Speaking of need for confirmation. Why do we have to depend so much on the judgments of others?"I do not know. I only know that I do just like this: first I touch the ground, ask for confirmation, then I face my judgment "Are you afraid of discovering something about yourself by seeing yourself again?“That already happens to me while I'm acting. I tried to play this role and the one in Small Marital Crimes, letting myself be overwhelmed by words that were, at times, very painful. Always intense. Both the TV series and the Infascelli film have wonderfully written texts, texts that dig”.
Did you do a lot of analysis?“All those who have a job like mine do it or should do it. As well as doctors and the many people who work alongside pain. You can't handle the feelings of others if you can't recognize your own. 'Was she in analysis only for professional reasons?«No, even for my things. But I'm not obsessed: now I only use it occasionally as a medicine to take when needed. It is a new way of conceiving therapy, a kind of support when needed. My own space ».Is entering a character a liberation or a perdition?“It's something that gives you great clarity. Because it is a different outlook on the world and on people. When you recite you leave the person you are and become someone else. So you see your whole world in a more detached, more straightforward way ».
Is it also a way to escape from yourself?"Oh, no. Acting is not running away from oneself, if only that were the case. It's just a way to deal with something else too, but all jobs are also used for this, right? ». Small Marital Crimes is a film shot entirely inside an apartment."It is the place that reveals, hides, accompanies, in a whole day, the two protagonists: a wife and a husband who have just come out of the hospital. He says he doesn't remember anything from his life. Together they spend hours saying things they have never said to each other. They go from room to room, in search of an object, a space that rekindles man's memories: the places of quarrels, those of vanity, those of love. The apartment is the third protagonist of this story ".
In her apartment, Margherita, gray prevails: on the walls, the sofas, the jambs, the cushions. And she too, today, is dressed in the same color."It relaxes me. Would you prefer white? I find it disturbing. I chose gray because it makes things uniform, everything becomes a background. In short, it reassures me ».And then to make "home" there is Matteo, a real certainty, it seems to me.“He's always on me. It's a bit sticky, but that's okay. I didn't choose it, I found it. It was a little dog that no one wanted, so I took it. He's been my shadow for nine years, if I walk around the house I'm afraid of crushing him, he's in my way. " More challenging than a man. By the way, would you like to talk about love?"Who, me? I am not able, I just do not know how to deal with it, I would find myself saying only the obvious. But after all: who cares, come on ».Love is an important issue.«I am denied for these things, I go into confusion. I give bad answers, right? "I'm not looking for the perfect answer, I just need it to be true. «I never reflect on matters of the heart, they are problems that I try to get rid of, which I don't want to dwell on. She will think: does this not know how to speak? I know, these are questions that you journalists must ask, poor thing too ».
Calm. I don't want to ruin her day, she seems in a great mood today."True. I go to days. Today everything is bright. I do not have a behavior that is always the same, consistent. And sometimes this feeling of provisionality gives me the strength to do many different things, other times it can crush me. Every so often I delude myself that life is quiet: well positioned on my fixed points. But I know that nothing is true: everything can change from one moment to the next and become something else ".
The years that pass add some armor. That says?“No, no, no, no. I feel more exposed, however. I am a person who has always relied heavily on his physical strength. On this front I like to test myself: and win. The idea that I will miss this strength over time, more every day, shakes me a lot. I have always felt indestructible, I know I am no longer indestructible and this gives me a lot of sadness ».Soon, we find a "point of light", a reason to smile.«Look, I am also positive. I am someone who does almost nothing, but who thinks a lot about all the things she could do. It's a fantasy that keeps me alive. I combine little, but I have a lot of ideas: trips that I will never start, books that I will not write, scripts that I will not sign. There is a crowd of intentions in my life: they keep me company, I like them. I always think there will be a then and this gives me a lot of strength and peace of mind ».Many of his colleagues suffer from periods when they are not working: they get anxious between one film and another. They are afraid of not acting anymore."The no. When I'm not around, I have a lot of things to do. Anything. I like normal life so much. Did I say a banality? ».For nothing.“So in the end I answered almost everything. Yes, in short, I really did it. "Margarita gets up to accompany me to the door. Matteo rolls down from the armchair to the carpet, then jumps around her, as expected. Up the stairs, where she greets me with a smile. See you next story, he says.