Vladimir Luxuria talks with Grazia about what he understood about pain and happiness and how we should all win the freedom to love
The first question, the one around which the whole meaning of this interview revolves, comes straight from the book that Vladimir Luxuria has just published, The courage to be a butterfly (Piemme, in bookstores from February 28th). "But do I really want to be happy?": This is a question that applies to everyone and that, on the contrary, almost all of us liquidate quickly. Because an honest answer would put us in front of the responsibility to fight for our happiness. Or to decide to do without it. Vladimir Luxuria, 51 years old, soubrette, artist, today columnist of the reality show L'Isola dei Famosi, is, as everyone knows, a transsexual person. "Nature did something strange with me," he says. «I looked in the mirror, I saw myself as male, I knew I was female. I worked so hard to adapt my body to my soul that didn't want to be bent. And I'm still working on it ». It is a commitment that affects everyone: we never stop learning to be who we are. "Yes, in fact, in me this eternal conquest is only a little more evident. Now if I look at myself, I recognize myself, I like myself, I feel at peace with myself and therefore with the world. I don't deny my roots, they gave me a special sensitivity ». Which? “The problem that many people have with their bodies moves me. From the Little Mermaid to Beauty and the Beast, any film about monstrosity, about inadequacy, makes me cry ". Is she angry with nature that created her male? “No, I'm grateful. For me, femininity was an achievement. I know how beautiful it is to be a woman, I know more than someone who was born a girl ». What is the beauty of women? "The grace. Giorgio Albertazzi, a great actor and a great man, told me that I'm full of them. A huge compliment for me ». You have modified your body with great effort and effort. Why not his name too? «Vladimiro is the Soviet name of my fascist grandfather: as you see contradictions are my DNA. I only removed the final "o". Vladimir means: "the power of peace". And I think that those who are at peace with themselves can be sovereign of their own life. I am grateful to the man I have been, I don't want to erase him. Many transsexual people legitimately decide to do so: they undergo a sex change operation, or they burn photographs of when they were men. Everyone makes the best choice for themselves. I hold onto the image of Vladimiro, that fragile child, who was crying in front of a stern look. " A frail child who actually had enormous strength. “Born from that initial inadequacy. For my book I chose the title The courage to be a butterfly because I think that the beauty of butterflies comes from their having been, before, a larva. My little essay speaks to everyone, because we must all continually authorize ourselves to be who we really are ». Did she completely succeed? "No. I did not want to seek love to the end and this is a lack I still have to deal with. I have always hidden behind the alibi of transsexuality. I said: for someone like me it is impossible to be loved and to love in a total way. That's not true: I know a lot of trans people who have real and deep relationships. And they are capable of living them without fear and of holding on to them ». So, what is the problem? Why didn't she make it? "Love burned me, almost killed me, when I was 16. It was an absolute, overwhelming passion, which ended all of a sudden when he told me: "From tomorrow on, don't say hello to me anymore, because I am ashamed of you and of what I have done". Since then I began to think that deep love was pain and therefore I only indulge in it with friends and family. For the rest, I continued to pursue superficial relationships, so as not to suffer. If I start to feel too involved, I get stuck. ' Another challenge: the fragile boy has become a woman. Now the woman must learn to trust love. «Yes, I have to win the freedom to love. Convince myself that the risk of suffering is worth it. Am I making a speech that is too sad? ' No, just very human. She wrote that everyone must ask themselves if they really want to be happy. “It's a question I asked myself when I realized that I could no longer try to be a man. I tried: I was dressing up, trying to go out with girls and be strong like my cousins. Then I would go home destroyed and it seemed to me that only my little dog knew, understood. One day I didn't make it and I said it ". To who? "To myself. And then to my sister Laura. Then everyone knew it, when I began my transformation I could no longer hide: the first make-up, heels and everything else. I started becoming a woman when it was a scandal for a man to put an earring”. In the book he also talks about transsexuals as "two spirits". Is that how it feels? «I was born in the body of a man, I wanted to transform myself into a woman. This sometimes gives me the feeling that I can deeply understand both genders. The suffering I went through has increased my spirituality, I believe. And also my ability to intercept the pain of others. Excuse me, I'm slipping again into too tough arguments. ' Let's lighten up with television then. Was your experience on the Island of the Famous? “It's a nice, fun job. The perfect gym to practice one of my favorite arts: irony. Together with Alessia Marcuzzi, who is a special woman, a friend ". Next goal of the butterfly? "Finding love and granting it to me, resting on a flower, just one. Hoping that it is not carnivorous ».